A lesson in office etiquette

Please remember the following when visiting an office to have a meeting:
1) Do not stand in front of the refrigerator, sink, dishwasher, microwave or other kitchen appliances during the hourse of 12-2.
2) If you have forgotten rule 1 and are in the way of those IN THEIR OWN OFFICE trying to eat their lunch, kindly move out of the way the first time said office person says "Excuse me".
3) Do not carry on a conversation on opposite sides of a hallway so that people have to pass between you and your conversant to get places. If one person has to duck their head and say "Excuse me" for interrupting your conversation by walking through it, you must immediately reconfigure your conversation set-up and adapt to your surroundings. This must involve one person within the conversation actually moving their bodies.
4) Do not play music during your meeting.
5) If you are considered a loud talker, or if you have it in your agenda to sharpen your joke-telling skills as an ice-breaker, please refrain from leaving any meeting room doors open. Any sudden outbursts or cacophony from the conference room will imminently transform to hostility as the cackling lingers in the hallway.