Mary Moon?

Dammit, does everyone know the words to this song but me?

Drug dealing is NOT okay

I'm tired of radio DJ's who allow their show to be a forum for drug dealers of various sorts to get their kicks. Once the topic of drugs is approached, a slew of people will call to give their inside scoop on the happenings of various dealers in the area. Suddenly everyone's from the hood, everyone has run from the law at some point, everyone is acting as though it's so freaking cool to sell drugs because it pays so well and you live a great life. Why won't anyone call up and say that what these people are doing is really f-ed up. It's not okay, it's not cool, and their money is just supporting crime and death in society.

Of course I didn't call either, so I suck too.

Getting ready for Christmas next year

I know you're out there...those type of people that actually write their Christmas cards a year early so they're done by the time that hectic month of December rolls around. Well, this blog is not for you. It couldn't be for you because you obviously wouldn't be able to write those 2-page letters a year in advance about what's happened to your either perfect or dysfunctional family.

I personally love how society suddently forgets the use of punctuation and proper language in these "catch-u-up" letters. Apparently it's alright to blunder about aimlessly from thought to thought without ever using a comma or a period and lacking clarity as the writer tries to eventually end up with the scintillating clincher sentence "things are about the same here" that makes us all breathe a sigh of relief of course without ever realizing you just had a run-on sentence that lasted a paragraph.

Or, perhaps this example is one of the finest displays of the poor writing and English instruction in our "leave no child behind" school system.

I'm not totally against the letters. I do occasionally enjoy reading them because it certainly provides insight for those I don't see often. But at least read it over before you print it 100 times! And at least have the decency to personalize it with one sentence to the person you're sending it to. If it doesn't have a "Merry Christmas" or "The finest to you and yours" at the bottom in pen, I'm just throwing it in the trash next year. It doesn't take more than a few seconds to show someone you really care.

with Danish mouth

Glædelig jul og godt nytår
(Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!)

A lesson in office etiquette

Please remember the following when visiting an office to have a meeting:
1) Do not stand in front of the refrigerator, sink, dishwasher, microwave or other kitchen appliances during the hourse of 12-2.
2) If you have forgotten rule 1 and are in the way of those IN THEIR OWN OFFICE trying to eat their lunch, kindly move out of the way the first time said office person says "Excuse me".
3) Do not carry on a conversation on opposite sides of a hallway so that people have to pass between you and your conversant to get places. If one person has to duck their head and say "Excuse me" for interrupting your conversation by walking through it, you must immediately reconfigure your conversation set-up and adapt to your surroundings. This must involve one person within the conversation actually moving their bodies.
4) Do not play music during your meeting.
5) If you are considered a loud talker, or if you have it in your agenda to sharpen your joke-telling skills as an ice-breaker, please refrain from leaving any meeting room doors open. Any sudden outbursts or cacophony from the conference room will imminently transform to hostility as the cackling lingers in the hallway.

Stellar

Headline of today's Washington Post:
House supports ban on torture.

My god, they've taken such a stand on this. Let me cast my vote for the Nobel Peace Prize right now.

Honk for the sign

Driving home last night from a direction I don't frequent, I saw the largest sign of my life. Not a billboard, but an interstate sign. Most of the time those big green signs have road names and such on them, but not in this jewel of a spot. It looks like it takes up the whole sign. It was exciting to me. So when you approach the 495/270 split coming from Virginia into Maryland, honk for the love!

Bobrick

Ever notice as you're hanging out in public restrooms that the hardware (i.e. cumbersome toilet paper dispenser, aggressive hand dryer/baby butt warmer) says Bobrick on it. No I'm not an idiot. I understand that's the name of the company. However, when you read it how do you say it in your head? Is it Bo-brick, or Bob-rick. See, I say it as Bo-brick. And everytime I'm looking for something to do in there while I'm doing something else I read Bo-brick which is exactly what they want me to. And then it dawned on me--Bobrick is most likely Bob & Rick's name melded together. It's 2 dip chewing, camouflage-wearing guys who have now made a fortune off of toilet paper dispensers and awkward and ineffective hand dryers. And they're getting a good laugh everytime they sit in their bathroom at home (that's actually made to look like a public restroom just so they could sell more of their product) and look at their platinum-plated toilet paper dispenser and thinking that some poor schmuck out there (Kristin Bramell) is thinking they're some big company called Bo-brick when they're really just good 'ole Bob & Rick.

And so it begins

It's the Christmas season. Oh, joy. It actually makes me really sad that so many people truly hate this time of year. In the last few years I've noticed a personal increase in disdain for it as well. So I'm concentrating on truly bringing it back to a simpler more traditional style. I want to live in that "1 or 2 presents" world, where you just value all of the other things that happen at Christmastime rather than the shopping frenzies that occur at every mall from here to Idaho. (Birds of prey anyone?) Am I just getting old and angry?

Speaking of which, why are old people so angry all the time? And why do they instantly think that everyone who is younger than 40 is evil? As if my weekly visit to Starbucks isn't bad enough with its high prices and packaged music, I let an old man in line ahead of me. Of course he thought he was supposed to be there in the first place, so it was more about avoiding an argument than my sheer good nature. Then the twit behind me complains that it's taking too long already. And to that I say Good tidings.